January 2012
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The Window at the End of the Hall
There’s a window at the end of the hall on the 46th floor of her building.
It’s a quiet corner with a view of hidden rooftop gardens and ancient water towers. I can see birds flying below me, the Hudson River flowing in the distance, and on occasion, I catch a glimpse of human life in another building as tall and still as hers.
“Can we move there?” she asked as I...
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You Know What They Say...
The bar was completely packed, and I was sandwiched between Owen Wilson and Scarlett Johansson. All three of our elbows kept bumping every time one of us tried to take a drink.
“Hey Owen,” I said.
“How you doing Guy? You look like you have a question for me.”
“Yeah, I was just wondering, if you could fuck any celebrity, who would it be?”
“You know, I...
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Neruda and a Handjob
I read Neruda to her in Spanish and her panties fell off. Which was only slightly uncomfortable because we were sitting in Union Square Park just as the sun was going down. When I got to the end, her hand was in my jeans, and I was whispering the lines in her ear.
“Quiero hacer contigo lo que la primavera hace con los cerezos.” The words were slow and deliberate, and she squeezed my cock so...
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Poly Problems
We held hands on the park bench as we watched the parade of bundled up humans whisk past us. It was too cold to be siting outside, but we needed the air even if it hurt our lungs.
“His new girlfriend keeps hitting on me.”
“She’s hot.”
“Sure, but she just wants to eat my pussy. It feels like she’s trying to pay rent by going down on me.”
I kissed...
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Alice
Having multiple partners means knowing whom to ask which questions.
I was sitting next to Alice at Lilly’s Bar one afternoon and she was making something out of her napkin. Her drink was nearly untouched and her coat was still on. She ordered a burger—rare—and once again she had forgotten her phone. She was exactly the right person to ask.
“I think I just asked a girl out,” I...
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Yes, Sir
The first time we slept together she called me sir.
It wasn’t sarcastic or silly, and it wasn’t cutesy or playful. We had gone out three times before we found ourselves in bed, and everything mostly worked. There was nothing magical about our connection, but we felt good sliding against each other’s skin, and we kissed like we had known each other for years. Our sex was friendly. She smiled...
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What's On Demand?
Sarah never brings friends home.
Which is why I was surprised when I heard two voices as I opened the door. They were sitting on the couch laughing and drinking red wine, but they both looked up when I walked in. I didn’t recognize the other woman at all, but I did know the look in Sarah’s eye, even if I wasn’t used to seeing it when she stared at a girl.
Sarah says she’d be...
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Music I Couldn't Hear
Our nickname for her was honest, respectful, kind, polite, descriptive, sincere, and tender. We called her The Pretty Pretty Princess of Magic Blowjobs.
I didn’t know her as well most of our friends, but she was at every party, every show, and every opening we went to for three years. She bounced when she entered the room and half the time she was naked within minutes. She hugged everyone, she...
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“Kimiko once told me that sex was the only way she knew how to make men laugh and...”
– Guy New York
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Quantum of Penis
“I like, totally only fuck guys with huge cocks,” she said, looking me up and down.
“I can see that,” I replied.
We ordered more drinks and we kept on talking, but what was there to say? There was no witty banter that could change the situation, and there was no convincing, finagling, or downright lying that would make one fucking difference. Not that I didn’t try.
“What do you know about...
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What Does It Feel Like?
“What does it feel like to know I’ll do anything you ask?”
She was lying on her bed, looking at me in the windowsill where I was smoking a Chesterfield her grandfather left over Christmas. It was freezing cold outside, but I was still covered in sweat and the air felt good against my skin.
“Something between fear, gratitude, and amazement.”
“Don’t you get off on the power?”
...
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Guy New York’s New Years Resolutions
1. Spankings are meant to sting: don’t hold back
2. Use the word “rye” whenever ordering a Manhattan
3. Be present in every single goddamn fucking moment
4. Don’t leave my ties knotted on the bed posts
5. Don’t request dirty photos from my followers even if I want to
6. Cook naked, but avoid hot oil
7. Don’t write blog posts during intercourse
8. Thank everyone in the room after sex
9....
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December 2011
57 posts
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Roses or Cherries
He pussy does not taste like candy. It doesn’t taste like strawberries or honey and it in no way resembles a blossoming flower. She calls it her cunt and she rubs it with short strong fingers.
Her breasts are different sizes and her nipples point slightly askew. She has bumps and an occasional hair, and when she lies on her back they fall flat against her body.
He neck and her chin are...
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People Everywhere
There are people everywhere.
On alternate days I want to scream at them to get of the way or I want to fuck each and every one of them.
I pass models so tall they look like aliens from a film; their limbs dangling down as they talk quickly to their mothers and agents in languages I don’t understand. I see publishers and art directors in their fifties, wearing jackets that could pay my rent for...
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Merry Christmas
As the longest night of the year comes and goes we are reminded that out of darkness comes light. As the cold of winter covers the city streets and freezes the air in our lungs we remember that the warmth and the sun will return.
And so, as our ancestors before us, let us gather around the fire, raise our glasses in song, and screw our brains out until spring.
Namaste and blessed be,
Guy...
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When No One Believes Me
At parties that don’t include sex on the list of activities, it’s often difficult to know what etiquette one is supposed to follow when slipping out for a fuck.
“Did anyone see us?” she asked as she turned the lock on her office door.
I kissed her neck (her lipstick was too perfect) and shook my head as we stumbled towards her desk. Her hand was on me in seconds, but the drinks and the awkward...