Amy was the first to get rid of her cell phone and nobody saw her for a week. Marcus followed next, and we bumped into them on Avenue A one night on our way back from the bar. They smiled and laughed, and in the middle of our brief chat one of them asked us what day of the week it was. I looked over my shoulder as I staggered off towards bed, and their laughter lit up the night sky.
Peter quit his job the old fashioned way and hitchhiked west with a backpack and his smash faced puppy. He called from a payphone once, claiming that the world was on fire and we should look out the window. It took me days to realize he wasn’t posting on Facebook, and weeks to realize that I was jealous.
By the time I joined in the coup we there was a small colony of free people in pockets spread throughout the city. We drank less and spent more time in parks, always just finding each other by accident. Our schedules quickly became directed by our bodies and our needs, and within months we were sleeping through the afternoon and reading stories to each other at night. We often walked for hours at a time, crossing the island over and over again seeing buildings we had never seen before.
We fell to sleep content and with smiles on our faces.
“It’s okay if you lie about me,” I whispered. “In fact, I like it.”
“You like it?”
I pulled her closer and kissed her hair once more, still marveling at the fact that she was in bed next to me at all. We had moved from exaltation to exhaustion more times than I could count and our bodies were sore and battered. Each time I thought we might slow down or sleep there was a whispered word or the movement of a thigh. Something as simple as a breath would draw us back into each other’s sticky embrace and once again time would forget what it was supposed to do.
“You’re so honest and kind,” I said, pausing to kiss her lips and look into her eyes. “So I like anything at all that makes you go against your values.”
She buried her head in the crook of my neck and shook it back and forth, her hair in my mouth in an instant. I squeezed her hand, wondering if for just a moment I had said the wrong thing. When she finally looked up at me again she was grinning.
“I think this might work out well,” she said before kissing me once more.
Anonymous said: You are the only writer who has ever brought me to both tears and orgasm.
This is probably the best comment I’ve ever gotten. Thank you. I might have to continue writing now.
Anonymous said: Have you ever considered adding a 'random' button? I don't know if it's feasible, but I frequently flip through the archive and would love to be able to either go to a random post or start reading chronologically at some point in the past. Thanks!
That’s a cool idea. I like it. I just added a random button to the top navigation. Or you can click below to find a random post.
Note, you can do this with any Tumblr by adding /random to the blog URL.
Random post here.
I awoke one morning to discover I had been transformed into a human.
It was a remarkable thing, and as I rolled over in the bed I found I had two hands each with five fingers, two legs and feet each with five toes, and a taste in my mouth that was akin to a smoldering camp fire. I wiggled my appendages, yawned deeply and stretched my new body as long and deeply as it could go. Between my legs was a cock which was curiously hard and the cool sheets against it felt like a summer breeze at night time.
My eyes could open and close on their own, and when I pursed my new lips a sound came out like the cry of an unfamiliar bird. I touched my face. Then my chest. I ran my fingers over my muscles and fat, marveling at the contours of skin and hair. I touched the hard thing between my legs to find it too was soft and firm at the same time, and a strange sensation of light shot down my leg in an instant.
I smelled coffee although I’m not sure how I knew what it was, and my stomach growled with a new hunger. The room was full of clothes I knew I should cover my body with, and yet when I finally stood and stared at my new self in the mirror I felt no desire to cover up at all. I turned this way and that marveling at hair and spots. I leaned left and right watching skin stretch and rolls form where they had not been.
I climbed back into the bed on all fours. I arched my back and shook my head. It took long moments to realize that the sound coming from my throat was laughter.
I smiled in the early morning light. I shook myself one more time before I fell onto my back, the laughter growing stronger until it was indistinguishable from tears.
lapeaudelamemoire said: Thank you for your writing. After years of following you, your erotica remains the best kind that I've read.
Thank you so much for sending that. I haven’t been writing as much smut this summer, although hopefully I’ll get back to it soon. But it’s nice to know that it’s being enjoyed.
Out of all the people I know I am the least kind to myself.
I have never met another human, or dog for the matter, who would say the things to me that I do on a regular basis. I have never met anyone who could look so closely into my deepest fears and concerns and push and prod until my whole self is raw and open. And I’ve never met another soul who could so casually and fully invicerate my good qualities with a laugh and a joke.
But I’m learning to tell myself to fuck off. I’m learning to look in the mirror and shut down the voice that tells me I’m less than perfect, and I’m learning to laugh right back at him with a grin, reminding him that he knows nothing.
It is hard. And it takes time. But if I know anything about myself, I know that I’m good at this shit.
I can go from crying to coming in less than an hour. Maybe less than fifteen minutes if I put my mind to it, and if you suck my cock like you did last night.
I walked in with my face a mess and my body covered in slowly drying sweat. I smelled of smoke and lunch, and you wore nothing but black lace around your tiny hips and a smile on your face as you leaned back in the kitchen drinking wine. I poured it all out (not the wine), because you allow it and ask for it and let it be what it is. The tears slowed down, the wine sped up, and within ten minutes we lay on the bed, your head in my lap as I slowly grew hard.
We fucked slowly. Within seconds our bodies were once again covered in sweat, but we moved inside each other, feeling everything, and wanting nothing.
That’s not true, we wanted, but we lacked a goal. We lacked a future at all. Instead you held me where I was, I slid inside you when it felt best, and we moved exactly as we needed to pull the most pleasure out of a fucked up world. We whispered and nibbled, we pinched and slapped, but in the summer heat we mostly fucked, escaping everything and leaving nothing behind.
There are a million things that can make sex hot, but very few that make it easy. Love helps, but it’s not always enough. Kindness can do wonders, and a willingness to listen and try are life changing. But there’s nothing that changes sex more than complete and utter acceptance; a willingness to let everything be as it is and feel as it does. A trust that each desire will be met with love and each need will be matched by a similar honesty.
We came with fingers inside each other. We came with simple words and slow touch. We came without any fear at all, letting each other be where we needed to be: in tears, in love, in compassion, and in hope.