The Dick Dock

One summer in college I got an apartment in Provincetown with an old friend of mine. We both got jobs in town where we worked six or seven days a week, and we drank each night until two in the morning. He was as straight as a line dance, but we held hands as we walked down the street each morning simply because we could.

In Provincetown everyone assumes you’re gay. It’s incredibly refreshing, but as a twenty-one-year-old mildly bisexual college student, it was culture shock. The first week we spent a few nights at the only straight bar in town before we realized that it was not only depressing, but also boring as fuck. Once we made friends, found roommates, and settled into our jobs, we expanded our horizons.

It was late one night in the middle of the summer when my new best-friend Mark asked me if I wanted to go to the Dick Dock. The Dick Dock was a legend. It was a running joke for the locals, a fantasy for the tourists, and a reality for a small group of men, who often found themselves on the beach at two am trying to satisfy something or other. I had never been, and so with a smile we crossed Commercial Street, took the narrow path to the beach, and turned right.

There is no Dock at the Dick Dock. But there is dick. On this particular night there was a line of dick. About fifteen or twenty men stood in a row, but Mark took me by the hand and marched me to the front without a word. There was a young man, possibly a few years older than me, kneeling at the front, his back to the wooden fence that closed off the dunes. As each man approached, they pulled their cocks out, jerking themselves off until they were hard. When it was their turn they looked down at the young man with mysterious expressions, and he dutifully took them into his mouth for the best blow-job he could manage at two am.

Mark stood me so close to the young man that I was almost touching him. My pant legs brushed his shoulder but he never once looked up. We may has well have been invisible. If we got even a glance I didn’t notice, although I was definitely distracted as I watched the kneeling boy go from one man to the next. We didn’t stay long, but it was enough.

As we walked down the beach he asked me what I thought.

“I don’t know. It’s pretty intense.”

“He likes sucking cock.”

“I guess so.” I said. “You don’t ever get in line?”

“Dude, if I want to get my dick sucked I just go to the bar. Those are the dudes who can’t get their dick sucked any other way. It’s a little depressing. Still fucking hot though.”

We walked back into town a few minutes later and most everything was closed. Even the pizza place was quieting down, and there was not much else to do. I said goodnight and climbed the stairs to my apartment. My old friend was still up, and with mild curiosity he asked where I had been.

“The Dick Dock,” I said.

“You get any Dock?” he asked, laughing at his joke.

I shook my head and climbed into bed. I was still overwhelmed by what I had seen, and not sure how I felt about any of it. I thought about waiting in line, watching everyone else use the young man for their pleasure and I shivered. And then I thought about him, taking cock after cock into his mouth without any regard for where it came from. I rolled over to find myself hard. I tried to let it go, but my hand moved faster as I closed my eyes and imaged myself kneeling in the sand on that quiet stretch of beach.

-Guy New York

(If you enjoy my writing, you might like my new novel, The Island on The Edge of Normal, now available on Kindle and in Print.)

Not The Most Faithful

Kelly was so thankful for his help that halfway into the first bottle of vodka she began to kiss him. It took him a moment to realize what he was doing, and then like a good friend, he pushed her away and tried to stand up. He looked at me with the open arms of apology.

"Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

It’s fine,” I said. “She’s just emotional. Besides, ever since the other night she’s been wanting to get a piece of you.”

Don’t tell him that,” Kelly said frowning at me. “He’s dating Rachel, and even though she’s not always the most faithful girlfriend, he doesn’t need to be hear about me wanting to fuck him.” She was sitting on his lap and rubbing his chest, and the combination of the smoke and the drink was making us all a little slow.

What do you mean, she’s not the most faithful?” he stammered.

Don’t worry about it. I think it’s great that you’re dedicated to her even if she doesn’t feel the same way.” She kissed him on the cheek, and I noticed that she had absentmindedly unbuttoned her shirt half way down her chest. Her small breasts were clearly visible each time she turned.

What do you mean she doesn’t feel the same way?” Marcus looked back and forth between us and I moved closer to them. 

I didn’t want to say anything man, but Kelly’s right. Rachel is sweet, but she’s still hung up on that guy from high school. I don’t think it means anything, but she was going over there tonight. She said she missed just being tossed around sometimes. I mean, she thinks you’re super sweet Marcus, but you know what she’s like.”

He was staring at us both and his cheeks were getting red. Kelly continued to rub his shoulder and his chest, and she told him not to worry. 

If it bothers you, feel free to take it out on me,” she finally whispered. She swung her leg over until she was straddling him on the chair. “Tom, you won’t mind will you? I’d hate to see Marcus get used like this, and I’ve been dying to feel this big cock inside me.” 

With that she pressed firmly against his jeans and he looked over at me helplessly. She moved her hand up and down him and it was clear he was getting harder. A second later she lost her shirt entirely, and Kelly’s breasts in his face became too much for him to handle. Without another word her grabbed her and kissed her tits with an anger I had rarely seen. He lifted her off his lap and they dropped to the floor as I slumped down against the bed to watch. She had his jeans open in a second, and her skirt was around her waist. She didn’t bother to remove anything else, but two seconds later his cock was inside her and her eyes were closed.

He’s so fucking big,” she whispered. Then she waved me to him. I reached a hand down and rubbed her clit as he fucked her, and she kissed me gently before winking. She bit her lip as she moved up and down, and his hands dug into her skin. He groped at her breasts, and thrust up to meet her as I watched them. 

You know we were just fucking with you about Rachel, right?” Kelly said. Her hips circled above him as she clenched her cunt around him.

What?” he said, only half sure he had heard her.

I mean, she would never really cheat on you. I just said that to get you to fuck me.”

Marcus threw Kelly off his body with so much force she fell on her face next to me. He jumped up, pulling his pants back up around his waist and stared at us. I had never seen him look so angry.

Are you fucking serious?” He yelled at us as he grabbed his jacket. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Both of you? Jesus Christ, I don’t know why I believe anything you fucking say!”

Two seconds later we heard the door slam and Kelly broke out into a fit of laughter. I pulled her to me and kissed her. She crawled up into my lap and the two of us found what was left of the joint and lit it once more. She took a long drag before pulling me in and filling my mouth with smoke. I inhaled deeply before leaning back and closing my eyes.

That was brilliant,” I told her. 

—GNY 

(If you enjoy my writing, you might like my new novel, The Island on The Edge of Normal, now available on Kindle and in Print.)

Dear Fucking Diary

June, 1998

Sometimes I wish I could start with dear diary, just so I know that I’m writing to myself, but this is a tough diary.  I mean it’s a journal, or maybe a notebook if I’m feeling all Bukowski and shit.  I’m not pouring out my heart for later, I’m writing down my dreams so when I realize them I’ll have something to look back on.

Instead I’ll start with this: she’s gonna kick me in the nuts without even trying.

The first time I slept with her I felt like she hardly noticed I was there.  I undressed her and we fucked for two hours, but no matter how hard I tried she was somewhere else. She wasn’t detached or unfocused.  She wasn’t unkind or unresponsive.  At the end of the night it was just that she wasn’t in love with me, and I wasn’t sure what to do with that.

They always fall in love with me and as much as it makes me feel good it drives me insane. I don’t know what to do with love and I don’t know how to say yes to it. I like the kissing and the outpouring of emotion, but everything else?  

Nothing gold can stay.

Tonight she’s sleeping in her room and I’m alone like I probably should be.  She’s tried and happy because she doesn’t worry about a fucking thing.  She sings and she studies, and she smiles when I show up at her door because she’s surprised every time.  After four months I still can’t call her my girlfriend without her laughing and shaking her head.

Tonight she’s sleeping in her room and I’m sitting here wondering if it’s what I deserve. They always fall in love with me, and I always say yes to it.  And now?  Now I’m offering everything I have on a platter and she’s shaking her head and taking what she wants. She picks me up, bites into me, and puts me back down like a passing fancy.  

Of course she loves me, but she also loves sunflowers and blue cheese.  She loves Rachmaninoff, Michel Foucault, and Mary Daly along with the Muppets and The Princess Bride.  

And me.  She also loves me.

Dear fucking diary…

Guy New York