At parties that don’t include sex on the list of activities, it’s often difficult to know what etiquette one is supposed to follow when slipping out for a fuck.
“Did anyone see us?” she asked as she turned the lock on her office door.
I kissed her neck (her lipstick was too perfect) and shook my head as we stumbled towards her desk. Her hand was on me in seconds, but the drinks and the awkward conversations with her swarm of co-workers hadn’t given me any help.
She looked at me and stood back. I could see her brain working as she ran through our options. We had less than five minutes, no erection, and only hard wood floors and furniture to press our bodies against.
Seconds later she wrapped one arm around my neck as she hiked up her skirt with her free hand. She pulled me in close and whispered in my ear; without warning she pushed two fingers into my mouth that tasted only of her.
I was inside her seconds later and her hand never moved. I wrapped my fingers around her neck as she whispered the same thing over and over again; within minutes we were coming as we struggled not to fall.
“Where the fuck did you two go?” one of her co-workers asked us minutes later. He was as drunk as Christmas and he steadied himself on my arm.
“Oh, you know. We slipped into my office so I could call him Daddy as he fucked me on my desk.”
“Oh, yeah, me and my secretary just did that too. But seriously, did you guys go out for a smoke, ‘cause I totally would have come with.”
“Sorry about that dude,” I said, patting him on the shoulder. “If we go out again later we’ll let you know.”
We made our way back to the bar, and I shook my head as I tried not to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, handing me a drink.
“You’re just so damned honest.”
“Only when no one believes me.”
“I suppose it helps that our lives are unbelievable.”
She wrapped her arm around me as we stood at the bar staring out over the crowd. It was a good party, and the music was loud and joyful. People were dancing and singing; everyone wore red.
“Merry, Christmas,” I said, and we clinked our glasses together.
We stepped outside to get a break from the party and we immediately heard the moans.
We looked up at the open window one floor up and we leaned against the brick wall of the old building. The fire escape had recently been painted and it clung to the side of the building like a giant black insect.
“Is that?” I didn’t even say her name before you nodded.
“Huh,” was all I could say as the moans got louder and we could almost make out words. The sounds were guttural and demanding, and I could only imagine what they were doing.
“Do you want to go inside?” I asked, but you put a finger to your lip and leaned your head on my shoulder. I stared down at the street below before—closing my eyes and listening to the noises above. They grew louder and stronger until the only words we could make out were ‘I’m coming’.
“She’s in college now,” you whispered to me. “It’s okay that I listened, right?”
“We probably shouldn’t mention it to her.”
“Hell, I’m not even sure I’ll be able to look at her, let alone talk to her.”
“You sound disappointed in her.”
“In her? Oh god no. I’m just horrified by how much it turned me on.”
“Fucking pervert,” I said, kissing her on the nose.
“Dirty old man,” she whispered as she grabbed me through my pants and squeezed with all the love in the world.
Guy New York