Separating Love and Sex (or not)

I’ve never been good at separating love and sex.

It’s possible that I’m just not great at handling my brain chemistry, so when I’m buried inside someone, looking into their eyes as we fuck, I believe all those hormones that are pumped into my head telling me it’s love. I had a belief as a teenager that sex would fundamentally change any relationship—acquired god knows where—and it stuck with me for a long time. Combined with my physiology, it meant that not only did I accept it, but I expected it as well.

After saying I love you at just the wrong moment, I’ve had a lot of awkward conversations that didn’t always go over as I would have like. You know, when I said I loved you back then it was just as a friend. Obviously. Or maybe it was her who brought it up, often as a rejection formed in a question. You don’t really love me, do you? Why would you say that?

And worst of all, at least most of the time, was I love you too. After that we would both lie there silently wondering if we could take it back, or if we needed to double down on it and see where we ended up. Maybe it was love and maybe it was true. And now where do we go?

This might explain why I mostly fuck my friends now. With someone I’ve known for even just a year, chances are high I’ve been saying I love you for a long time before we ever crawl into bed. When it’s been even longer, when we’ve put off sex for whatever reasons we can imagine, it’s a different story altogether.

“I love you,” I’ll moan as we writhe on the bed, in the bathroom stall, or on the couch at a party.

“Aww,” she’ll whisper back to me with easy sincerity. “I love you too.”



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Always Perfect

“What do you want to do?” she whispered between kisses.

“I want to watch you undress,” I said, sure of my desire for the first time all evening. I set her down and sat on her bed, which was really just a thick mattress on the floor. I hardly noticed the rest of the room as she pulled off her light jacket. She was wearing a tank top and jeans, and her body swayed as if there was music. When she pulled off the her top – with her back to me – I suddenly realized she was naked beneath it. She turned to face me, her hands covering her breasts, and I stared at her with open awe.

The buttons of her jeans went slower, and she walked to me until she was only inches away. She pulled down the zipper and I could see a thin patch of brown hair beneath the denim.

“I fucking love Vassar,” I whispered.

She leaned forward and kissed me as her jeans came off, and when she stood up again she was completely naked in front of me. If I thought she was tiny with clothes on, this was something else. I had a moment of doubt wondering how old she actually was before she was on my lap pulling off my shirt, and I stopped caring about everything.

Kelly and I spent hours in bed that night. We licked, sucked, and fucked each other until the sun came up, and even then we had to tell ourselves that we needed to sleep. Each time one of us bit a little harder or kissed more gently the other was right there. If I held her arms above her head she moaned into my ear, and when she sank her teeth into my inner thigh with one hand wrapped around the base of my cock, I nearly screamed. When I was inside her the world vanished, and even when we waited for me to grow hard once more our bodies felt perfect.

We were far safer than Jane and I had been, and by the time morning came we had a garbage can full of used condoms, a beer bottle full of cigarette butts, and more than a few bruises covering our bodies. In spite of our scratching and pushing though, the sex was incredibly sweet. It was tender, powerful, and slow, and I fell in love over and over again.

When we finally fell asleep it was only after she managed to make me come one last time.

“You do like how tiny I am, don’t you,” she whispered, as she tried to get me hard.

“Of course,” I said, pushing her back and staring at her body.

“Do you want me to be your little girl?” she purred as she threw a leg over mine. Her cunt pressed into my thigh and somehow my cock twitched back awake. “You like that, don’t you? You want to fuck your little girl, I can feel it. How old do you want me to be?”

“I don’t even know how old you are,” I moaned as I rolled on top of her, my cock now hard against her stomach.

“I’ll be anything for you,” she whispered as she rolled our last condom down over me. “I’ll be as little as you like.”

And then I was inside her and she was kissing me. My eyes were open, amazed at the sight of her, and she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her with everything she had.

“Fuck me,” she whispered, mumbling something else that I couldn’t make out.

“What did you say?” I asked, thrusting faster and harder.

“Fuck your little girl,” she moaned, and seconds later I was coming and so was she, bucking her hips off the ground as I thrust. Her face was against my neck and her breathing so loud it was musical. I kissed her everywhere as my body exploded, and I never wanted anything else ever again. I wanted to stay there, coming inside her, in spite of my utter exhaustion, but most of all I wanted it to always be perfect: sweet, hot, joyous, and easy.


-gny (from my new novel Disgusting, Beautiful, Immoral, which will be done one of these days.)

I’ll Always Be Here

She lay in bed when I walked in, the blankets around her waist and her hair a tangle on the pillow.

“I couldn’t sleep. I kept picturing you with her.”

“I’m home now,” I said, pulling off my tie and hanging my suit up in the closet. It was the most I could offer.

“I don’t like it. You shouldn’t leave me alone. Ever.”

“Should I just stay here in bed with you? For ever and ever?” I climbed naked beneath the covers and wrapped her in my arms. She backed up against me and clenched my fingers in her hand as she pulled me close.

“Yes. For ever and ever. Except when you go make coffee in the morning. Or order food. And maybe shower on occasion. No smelly boys allowed.”

“And what will you do with me all that time?” I asked, my body moving slowly against her. She reached one hand between us and took me firmly in hand, rubbing the head of my cock between her legs. I was barely hard, but she turned just enough to kiss me.

“I’ll make you fuck me. Just like this, with your arms around me as you promise to stay.”

And then I was inside her, and I would have promised anything. She sighed and pushed back against me as we moved slowly in the dark room. I kissed her neck and pulled on her hip bone, needing to be farther inside her than was ever possible.

“I promise,” I whispered, turning her head and kissing her lips once more. “We’ll never leave. We’ll never stop, and we’ll never get out of bed again.”

“And you have to make me come. A lot.”

My hand moved between her legs as she arched her back. Her thighs parted as my fingers found her, even as my other hand moved to her throat. I thrust faster and deeper, pulling her to me in so many ways. Her breath grew ragged and quick, and with each moan she moved closer and closer to the edge.

“When I get to five,” I whispered, letting go of her just long enough for her to catch her breath. “When I get to five you can come for me.”

She bit her lip and clenched around my hand and cock. I whispered the words in her ear, and by the time I reached three she was sobbing as her body shook and trembled. When I finally released her she screamed into the pillow; my privileged ears devoured every sound she made.

“I’ll always be here,” I whispered over and over again. “Always.”



Long and Aching

I followed Maddy into the shower without a word. She stared at me when I stepped in naked behind her and she crossed her arms over her chest.

“What the fuck are you doing? He’s sleeping in the other room.”

“Soundly,” I said as I stepped closer and wrapped her in my arms beneath the falling water. She opened hers to me as well and pressed her nose against my chest. Her sigh was long and aching and her lips wet on my neck. She fit perfectly beneath my chin.

“He’s sleeping soundly.”


A test, a Teacher, and a Blowjob

The first time I got tested we had to wait two weeks for the results.

When I finally went back, I went by myself because I didn’t have anyone to confide in, but as soon as I sat down there was a voice behind me saying my name. I turned to discover my senior year english teacher sitting right behind me.

“Are you getting tested or getting results?” he asked. Out of all the people I could have bumped into he was surprisingly the best. As the closest thing to an out gay teacher at my high school I had spent more time talking to him about my sexuality than any other person on the planet. In fact, seeing him next to me, with the same nervous look on his face that I had, was practically life saving.

“Results,” I said. “You?”

He nodded, and before we had time to say anything they called us each into separate rooms. The consultation was a blur, but I remember they pointed to a number on a page that I didn’t understand. It wasn’t until they told me to stay safe and healthy that I realized the page said I was negative. In less than five minutes I was standing in the parking lot with relief flooding my body.

“Good news?”

Without thinking I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him. He was a few inches taller than me and built like a tree; I took every advantage of comfort he had to offer. I needed something solid right then.

“Good news,” I whispered, stepping back with a flush on my cheeks.

“Me too,” he said with a smile.

An hour later, after coffee and a sandwich, I sat in the passenger seat of his car looking back and forth between him and my shoes. Graduation had been just weeks before, but suddenly it felt very far away. His smile was strangely shy, but his hand brushed mine just closely enough that everything was clear. I didn’t move away and neither of us said a word. I turned towards him, my seatbelt undone, and I leaned in closer.

Our kiss didn’t last long. It was big and sloppy with a touch of scruff to make sure I knew it was real, but within seconds my hand was on his cock and there was only one thing to do.

I’m not sure if I asked. Maybe I simply looked at him longingly, or opened my mouth in just the right way. Whatever it was I did, he understood. It was a silent question he answered without words.

He nodded and gently pushed my head down into his lap even as he undid his jeans. His head was thick and red, but I didn’t have time to look before opening my lips around it and tasting him. He grew harder in seconds as I wrapped my hand around him, and I tried to take more into my mouth than I ever could. His moans were instant and for a moment I wondered if what I did mattered at all. I licked up and down him, amazed at how different his cock was from my own, but I didn’t stop. I sucked him back into my mouth even though I gagged each time he thrust into me.

“Oh fuck I’ve wanted your mouth all year,” he moaned as I tightened my grip on him and went back to swirling my tongue around the head of his cock. “I’m gonna come,” he said just moments later, his fingers entwined in my hair.

I didn’t pull back, although part of me wanted to watch. I was determined to do it right, and so I took him in again, swallowing as much as I could before he started erupting into my mouth. It was thick and salty, and I couldn’t take all of it at all. I had to come up for air and I watched him spurt onto his jeans and boxers, even before I went back for more. I didn’t stop until his spasms slowed down, and his moaning finally turned into soft sighs of relief and release.

I sat up, wiping my face, and leaned back in my seat.

“Do you want me to get you off too?” he asked, his thick cock still standing up straight.

“I’m okay,” I said.

We were quiet as he adjusted his clothes. He drove me back to the clinic where I had left my car, and we kissed on the cheek when I got out. I drove for hours before finally going home, my brain constantly moving and never slowing down. Up in my bedroom later that night I jerked off thinking about sucking his cock once more.

A year later, he called me in college and told me he wanted to fuck me. I laughed and mumbled something friendly, but we never talked again. On occasion, I still get hard thinking about myself in the front of his car, my lips around his cock as he moaned my name.


©2013 by The Dirty Gentleman (#736)
It’s always difficult to say yes when someone opens a door. But say yes.

©2013 by The Dirty Gentleman (#736)

It’s always difficult to say yes when someone opens a door. But say yes.

I Do My Best

Alice stood next to me at the lecture, her hands folded in front of her, and didn’t say a word. We listened and nodded and what did it matter if I knew how old she was and she knew I was staring at her knee socks? What did any of it matter after that? After the world was taken apart and the idea of us smiling at one another had been deconstructed until there was nothing left, what then?

“I’m a rabid feminist,” she said during the appropriate applause.

“I do my best,” I told her. “Once we’ve taken everything apart, maybe there’s no need to put it back together.”

“Are you old enough to be my father?”

Her question actually took my by surprise, but I tried not to let it show. Instead, I looked her up and down in a very non fatherly manner as I tried to discern the truth. Do I go with biology or biography? Of course I was capable at the time, but was it feasible?

“Do you dye your hair?” I finally asked her.

“Of course.”

“Well, I suppose it’s possible. Does that make it better or worse?”

She stepped closer to me and her perfume was overwhelming. I tried to slip back into my intellect and allow the lecture to guide my actions, but it didn’t matter. When she reached her hand towards me I took it no matter what I believed, and when she kissed my fingers I was done.

“I’m a rabid feminist,” she whispered in my ear.

“I do my best,” I replied.

“Do you want to fuck me, Daddy?” she asked, her lips never breaking contact with my skin.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She nestled her face into my chest, and I kissed the top of her head. I could hear her heartbeat as my hands moved down her body to the hem of her skirt, and by the time she looked up into my eyes it was over.

“Always,” I whispered. “Daddy always wants to fuck you.”

And then there was an elevator, a kiss, and a room key. And everything else was left behind.


(If you enjoy my writing and would like to support the blog, you can buy my novel or one of my dirty e-books on Amazon here.)

Do You Remember?

“Do you remember when you fingered me in church during the talky part?”

She was nestled between my legs with a blanket over her and a dress that was so short it was indecent. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the back of her neck.

“Do you remember blowing me on the Megabus to Boston?”

She leaned back and grabbed my hand that was resting on her stomach. She slid it down her body, over her right thigh, and then finally between her legs to her very smooth and very bare pussy.

“That’s better,” she moaned as I brushed her gently with my fingertips. “Do you remember fucking on New Years while everyone else was sleeping around us? My brother was on the couch, but you slid inside me so slowly and quietly that no one woke up.”

She pushed back against me and I was hard against her ass in seconds. I pulled her to me and she a let out a gasp as I pushed two fingers deep inside her. She was soaking wet, and wiggling between my hand on one side and my cock on the other.

“I remember fucking your ass for the first time. You arched your back and bit your lip, and when I was all the way inside you told me never to stop. And then you fucked me back.”

She was moaning now and I moved between her clit and her pussy with quicker and harder attention. Her own hand joined mine, touching herself where she wanted it as I kissed her neck and mouth. My left hand was wrapped in her hair as she moaned between my legs and I could tell she was close.

“The first time you came inside me. And when you slapped my face in front of everyone, and the time you tied me to your bed and brought home a friend.” She was nearly panting.

“When you called your ex while I fucked you, or maybe the time you licked Steph’s clit while my cock was inside her. Or all the times you came around me, clenching and crying as we pretended it wasn’t going to ever happen again?”

Her body let go beneath my hand, and I pulled her back and kissed her mouth as she started to come. She arched up against my hand, her legs shaking and her muscles tight as she shook and screamed, my hand never once stopping. I pulled her hair harder and sucked her tongue into my mouth as she moaned, and her coming lasted for hours.

When she finally took my hand and brought it up to her chest it was all either of us could to do speak. I kissed her hair and she pressed my hand against her skin.

“Why did we break up, again?” she whispered.


(If you enjoy my writing and would like to support the blog, you can buy my novel or one of my dirty e-books on Amazon here.)


“You’re impossible,” she said before I leaned in and kissed her. She tasted like smoke and curry, and everything about her was so damn familiar I almost couldn’t handle it. I pulled her closer to me, and she took a final drag off her cigarette before crushing it out behind me. She wrapped her legs around me and kissed me against as I reached up under her shirt and undid her bra.

“What am I going to do with you?” she asked.

“Fuck me?”

And then her shirt was gone and we were done talking. I kissed her familiar chin and then her familiar neck. Her familiar hands undid my jeans and her familiar breasts crashed against my bare skin in a moment of joyful reunion. We tore at the rest of our clothes, kicking our jeans off onto the floor, until we were entangled in each other’s naked bodies for the first time in over a year. I made my way down her body until her legs opened around my neck and she cried out when my mouth touched her.

“Of fuck, I forgot how good you are at that.”

She was wet and delicious, and I ate her pussy until she finally pulled me back to a kiss and shoved a condom into my hand. My fingers replaced my tongue as we rolled over on the bed, and she was thrusting down against me as my mind slowly shut down. With her help I got the condom on, and then she was on top of me and everything was gone. The drive vanished, college was a distant memory, and my break-up might never as well have happened. Jane’s pussy was the only thing in the world that mattered, and it wasn’t until I was close to coming that I realized there were tears in my eyes.

She bit my shoulder and pulled me to her as we fucked, and it was all I could do to hold off the inevitable. I moved my hands over her body, until they slid down to her ass. She knew as well as I did what I was about to do and her whole body tightened. I pulled her onto me, looking up at her heaving breasts, and her eyes were closed in ecstasy. She pushed down around me as I grabbed her ass in one hand, and when my finger found her tight hole she screamed out. I worked it into her ass as we fucked, and she bit her lip so hard I thought she might bleed.

It only took a few minutes of me fingering her ass for her to start coming, and I was right behind her. I threw her onto her back, her body still trembling, and I pistoned in and out of her for all I was worth.

“Fuck me,” she moaned. “I know you want to come in me. Do it.”

And then I was gone, exploding into the condom as she stared into my eyes and tightened her legs around my body. I kissed her mouth between gasps and my own ass tightened as I came over and over again. She brushed my hair from my face and I kissed her chin as we stared into each other’s eyes. I touched her cheek as I reached down and squeezed the condom around the base of my cock before pulling out.

I got up and walked to the bathroom where I dropped the condom in the toilet and pulled a wash cloth off the shelf. I ran some warm water, wet the rag, and made my way back to the bed. She had another cigarette lit, and I gently wiped the sweat off her body. She shook her head at me as I did it, but she didn’t stop me. I finally tossed the rag onto the floor and she reached a hand out so I could take a drag off her smoke. We both sat up, not worrying about the sheet, and we sat there for a long time before either of us spoke.



In The Morning

We only fuck in bathrooms, alleys, and friend’s bedrooms.

Mostly it’s because we say we aren’t going to do it again. We pledge and we promise, but at the end of the night she’s against the wall in the bathroom at Docs, and my cock is so far inside her the jukebox is skipping.

She’s never asked me home, and I’ve avoided doing the same, but when we end up at a party together it rarely takes more than an hour before her mouth is around my cock and I’m holding the door closed with one foot. The harder they knock the harder she sucks, and she knows that I’ll come the first time someone screams out her name.

I’ve eaten her pussy on the subway, in the back of a cab, on a fire escape, and under a stoop. She’s sucked my cock in her office, at the dumpling bar, and in the handball court behind Vol De Nuit. We finger, jerk, and lick each other three times a month, and each time we leave with a solid promise to never do it again.

Sometimes I’m tempted to bring her home, lay her down on my bed, and fuck her until the magic is gone. I want to bring her coffee, iron her shirt, and watch her dress in the morning. I want to find so much normal that we slow down and our after-work-drinks mostly involve drinking.

days I want to be there in the morning.


Less Cold and Wet

I always think that sex in the snow is going to be less cold and wet than it actually is.

The first time I fucked in a snowstorm I was sixteen and we were in the park all afternoon on a hill we were too old for but didn’t care. We teased each other until I actually got hard in the cold, and when I whispered that truth in her ear she pulled me into the woods with a wink. Let’s see if it lasts she said, pulling her thick pants down until just the glistening cheeks of her ass were visible, red from the cold and the pounding of the sled. We fucked for at least two minutes and I lost a glove. She tried to rub her clit with a mitten on and it was over before we started. Hot chocolate around the corner warmed us up but didn’t inspire more than kisses designed to warm our noses.

And then in college there was a hot tub outside and it was warmer at least. We fucked as the big wet flakes fell into our open mouths and eyes, and we laughed and laughed as we tried to find the best angle on the hard plastic seat. She actually came, much to both our surprise, and I kissed her ear and told her we were made for winter.

Years later I crawled into a tent buried halfway in a snow bank and it was too cold to take off anything. Even the fire not so far away didn’t offer much heat, and our attempts at love were padded with so many layers the best we could manage were kisses and words. When we finally did peal off our clothes, we climbed into one sleeping bag, naked for warmth. It was just barely big enough for one and we couldn’t so much as move let alone fuck. She told me she loved me for my body heat. I told her she was a fawn.

The other day we lay in bed looking at the tiny flakes as they felll from the sky and bemoaned the fact that we had to get up. The floor was cold and the wind crept through the cracks with icy fingers. We kissed for a moment, our hands sliding down to hips and thighs before the alarm went off once more.

“I like the snow,” I whispered.

She nodded but said, “sometimes I wish it was less cold and wet.”



How You Watch

“Do you want to watch us fuck?”

I nodded my head, but the truth is I wasn’t sure. I like watching sometimes, and I like being there, but I have to be in the right frame of mind to really enjoy it.

“I want to try something different,” she said, taking him by the hand and leading us both to the bedroom. “I’ve never had anyone watch like this.”

My curiosity was definitely piqued, and I sat on the foot of the bed while they undressed each other. Their kissing grew more ferocious as he pulled off her top, and she was biting his neck by the time his cock was hard and in her hand. She knelt for just a few minutes, and while it was perfectly nice to see, it wasn’t anything especially new.

“Get on you back,” she said, pushing him on the bed a few seconds later. He lay down and she straddled him, facing me. She waved me closer with one finger as she sat down, and I leaned in closely as she rubbed the head of his cock against her lips. I had forgotten they were fluid bonded, and as I lay down on my stomach I suddenly realized this was indeed not normally how I watch.

They were inches from me, and I stared with wide eye as she pushed down around him. She leaned back, and the mechanics of their fucking took up my whole frame of vision. They both moaned when he was all the way inside her, and I could see everything. The ridge that ran up the outside of his cock was glistening, and the lips of her cunt opened and closed around him as they moved. On occasion she’d sit up just enough for him to pop out and then slowly she’d lower herself back down around him.

Within minutes my nostrils were filled with their sex, and my hands were on her thighs. She looked down as well, and I couldn’t tell if she was still amazed by her own body or if it was my burning eyes on them that did the trick.  

“Do you want to taste me?” she asked, her voice thick and slow.

“Yes,” I said, leaning in even closer.

With one hand she pulled him from her and without pause she rubbing him against my lips. I didn’t wait for a bigger invitation before opening my mouth around him and tasting both of them. I gripped the base of his cock as she fucked him once again, and we began an irregular pattern of me taking him into my mouth or sucking her clit while they fucked. Their moans grew louder and faster, but it was almost as if they weren’t there. All that mattered to me was one soaking wet cunt and one ridiculously hard cock.

When she came the whole building heard. She grabbed my hair, pushed down around him, and clenched her thighs and cunt. She swore and she cried, and at the very last minute she pulled my mouth to her clit. I could feel her trembling, him twitching, and suddenly his balls were tightening, and I swear I could watch the come move up the length of his cock until his cries were mixed in with hers.

Each time I touched them at all their skin twitched and their muscles tightened. And when she sat up once more I leaned in and tasted both of their come. First, I licked up the length of his cock as he clenched the sheets in his hands and cried out. Then I opened her swollen cunt with my tongue and taste them there. I licked and sucked, pausing only to stare at their bodies, amazed at how delightfully messy they were.

They were red, purple, and vermillion. Their flesh was engorged with blood, wet with their own fluids, and trembling with the spasms of their coming. All of my senses were filled, and each one said “more” to my nearly useless brain.

“Well, that was different,” he said, as she rolled off him. They kissed for a long while before looking back at me with sheepish grins.

“Thanks for letting me watch,” I said.

“If that’s how you watch, we might have to do it again.”


The Young Woman That I Was

I spent a lot of time when I was younger unsure of where I fit into my own fantasies.

Sometimes I wanted to hold her down and fuck her and sometimes I wanted to be her: held down and fucked. I wanted to feel her tight cunt around me and I desperately wanted to know what it felt like to have him slide inside me as I clenched.  

I spent a lot of time in chat rooms, pretending to be her, talking to other men with the same fantasy. I listened to them describe what they wanted to do with my body, and I heard their fantasies over and over again. I let them use me, fuck me, and come inside me, all within the safe walls of made up spaces.

More often than not I pushed them further than they expected. Fuck me harder, I’d type. Let me feel your fingers around my neck as you slap my face and fuck my ass, and there would be silence on the other end. Was he sitting there, finally lost in jacking off, or did I go too far and he left for lighter pleasures?

The women I met online—many of whom I’m sure were also men—liked to fuck me as well, and I had more virtual lesbian sex than I ever did logged on as a straight man. We played with ourselves and with others, sometimes making the men simply listen as we licked and sucked each other to real orgasms.

It’s questionable that I learned anything of real value. It was playful and secret, and I admitted it to no one. But on those dark nights in my room with my cock in my hand, I jumped into the life of my made-up self and I was free and wild. I was temptation and I was fire.

And sometimes, when I’m alone on a chilly night in autumn, I find I miss the young woman that I was.


I’m Thankful

“I’m thankful for this mouth and these lips.”

“I’m thankful for this shoulder and these arms.”

Our holiday tradition requires us to go back to bed with coffee and gratitude where we take the time to remember the things that are most important.

“I’m thankful for these tits and this belly,” I said, my hand following my words.

“And me for this nipple and this thigh muscle which could feed a horde of eight tonight. And also this cock that’s getting bigger in my grateful hand.”

“And I’m thankful for this wet pussy in the morning that so often needs to be stuffed like a family tradition.”

We both were quiet as we watched my cock rub between the lips of her cunt before slowly sinking into her beneath a warm sunbeam that burst through the window. In and out, in an out, it was less of a rhythm and more of a dance.

“I’m thankful for how you fuck me, and slap my face when I’m tied up. And also for your hand on my ass and around my throat, and for the times you come in my mouth when I need to feel used.”

“And I’m thankful for those nights you come home late after a date, and even though you’re tired you still tell me in graphic detail what it was like to come with a new person. And I’m also thankful for this ass, which I get to fuck on occasion, lubed with your tears and nostalgia.”

I fucked her harder, both of us getting lost as we continued our litany, lining up one final burst of gratitude.

“For your come dripping out of me and your adorable guilt when you get some in my eye. For the way you thrust and then hold yourself inside me, buried all the way in, because you want to come so badly you can’t stand it. For when you call me a slut and a cunt, and for how you get hard when I tell you about his cock, and for…”

She started to come mid sentence, and she clenched her legs around me and kissed my mouth hard as she screamed. I pulled her hips to me, getting as deep as I could, as our pelvic bones slammed into each other over and over again.

“For this, and for your eyes and voice when you come and your pussy so fucking tight around me and singing and sweaty skin without stopping and love so much fucking love I am so grateful for all the fucking love…”

And then I was coming too, my whole body shaking as I exploded within her for what felt like an impossible amount of time. I kissed her harder and touched her hair and her face as I pushed inside her so far that our bodies joined perfectly together into one breathing, coming, trembling mass of love.

“For you,” I said.

“For you.”


Absorbing Me Slowly

She used to rub my come into her skin, claiming she was absorbing me slowly. She said that after a year of it we’d be able to communicate without using words at all, and we began to speak less and less. We drank coffee silently each morning, and our decisions were based on eyebrows and the touching of hands.

We fucked most every day, and she no longer had to ask me to pull out. In the moments after I finished she moved into an almost spiritual place with her eyes closed and her hands making circular motions across her chest and stomach. I’d watch her as I lay next to her in the dark, but it was hard to tell if it was working at all. Some nights after I came I felt even further away than ever before.

And then one Friday I realized we hadn’t spoken for an entire week. Seven days had gone by without us saying a thing. I pulled her to me and kissed her rather than getting dressed. She raised an eyebrow, but I dragged her back to bed and opened my mouth between her legs. I spent nearly an hour there, trying to think of the right words to use, but the longer I stayed the less I knew.

Finally she pulled me up and kissed my mouth as I slid inside her. I held her tightly, our bodies moving slowly but with great force. We gripped hands, strained muscles, and exerted every effort we had as we fucked, and when I came it was so deep within in her that for a moment we were one and the same.

She looked at me and smiled.

“I love you,” I said.

“I know,” came her reply.